Dale A. Baker, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist - La Jolla
California Psychology License # PSY 9693
7752 Fay Avenue, Suite B, La Jolla, California 92037
Couples - Individuals - Families
"Healthy divorce" means moving past consuming anger and resentment toward a new center of balance as a single person, maintaining the best interest and welfare of your children, and establishing a workable attitude toward your ex-spouse and your prior marriage. It’s estimated that ten years later 40-50% of women and 30-40% of men remain very angry and still feel exploited by their former spouse. Losing love can inflict deep and lasting wounds, however, that doesn’t have to be the outcome.
The complete absence of conflict is not the goal. A degree of anger is natural and can be constructive. It helps dissolve the bonds of attachment and enables you to make changes in your life. Apart from peace of mind, there are practical benefits for working toward a healthy divorce: You’ll save thousands in legal fees; you’ll reduce future conflict with your ex-spouse; and, if children are involved, you’ll reduce their emotional injury and improve co-parenting.
Sometimes only one spouse comes to therapy, sometimes both. In either case, therapy provides a process for moving from the past toward defining a positive future. You can achieve a healthy divorce by increasing your understanding and by taking an active role in seeking constructive solutions to difficult decisions.